


you know the hero died, so what’s the movie for?

by blackberry_jam



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: F/M, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of alcohol and drugs, also mentions of theft?, duh it’s Boris and Theo, kinda? i mean the painting so I guess?, oh oops mentions of the bombing too, title is from a Taylor Swift song, what a surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackberry_jam/pseuds/blackberry_jam
Summary: Because Theo’s in love with Pippa. He is. He has to be.Because if Theo’s not in love with Pippa, then he might just be in love with someone else.Because if Theo’s not in love with Pippa, then he might just be in love with Boris.And that would be bad. Very bad indeed.
Relationships: Theodore Decker & Boris Pavlikovsky, Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky, Theodore Decker/Pippa (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	you know the hero died, so what’s the movie for?

**Author's Note:**

> title from taylor swift’s ‘hoax’

At thirteen, if Theodore Decker really had to think about it, if you really wanted to know, he’d tell you he’s in love with Pippa.

Pippa, with her long, red hair, and the pretty flute, begging to be played. Pippa with her impeccable music and book taste, even with her head injury. Pippa with her dark bedroom, with the familiar smelling sheets and the red candles, nothing more than a melted mess now. Pippa with her morphine-lollipop-sticky lips and clammy hands, gripping to his own as if he was the lifeline and she’s a drowning sailor.

And he’s in love with Pippa, he has to be, because they’ve got shared trauma, and they understand each other. And anyway, if he wasn’t in love with Pippa, then why did he care so much? why did he want to know what happened so badly? why was he so unreasonably crushed when she was shipped off to Texas?

~~ It’s not because of the shared trauma, that’s not why. They can’t just be friends, it doesn’t make sense. ~~

Because Theo’s in love with Pippa. He is. He has to be. 

Because if Theo’s not in love with Pippa, then he might just be in love with someone else.

Because if Theo’s not in love with Pippa, then he might just be in love with Boris.

And that would be bad. Very bad indeed.

Because he can’t be in love with Boris.

Boris with his ridiculously thick, dark hair, just slightly too long, that he has to constantly brush it out of his eyes. Boris with his stupid accent that’s not quite Russian and yet not quite Australian, either. Boris with his annoying habit of falling into another language, when he knows Theo can’t understand a word he says. Boris with his drug and alcohol addiction, that Theo just knows  _ cannot  _ be good (although, who is he to judge now?). 

And he’s not in love with Boris, he can’t be, because they’re friends. Good friends. (He  _ definitely  _ hasn’t noticed that their friendship is nothing like the friendship he once had with Tom Cable, or even his friendship with Andy). And anyway, Boris has Kotku, (not that he’s jealous or anything, he’s  _ barely  _ noticed any difference), so why would he even want to, you know,  _ like  _ like him, (not that he wants him to, of course.)

Because he’s not gay, or anything. He doesn’t like boys. He likes girls. And Pippa’s a girl, so he must like her.

It makes perfect sense.

… except for the few times he writes to her, sometimes his letters go unanswered. And it’s partially his fault, he can never think of the right things to say, sometimes sitting for hours, staring at the scrappy piece of lined paper, his address scrawled in the corner and ‘dear Pippa,’ written in big, loopy letters, never writing more than a ‘how’s Texas? It’s not too bad here, but I still wish I was back in New York!’ and a quick summary of the small amount of schoolwork he’d been completing.

But, he’s not a big letter writer, and maybe she’d not either. It doesn’t mean anything.

… except when he’s having a bad day, which is most of the time, he can always skip school and, surprise surprise, Boris will  _ always  _ take the day off with him. And he doesn’t like to think about it too much, because  maybe he’s turning into his dad , but they’ll sit by the side of the pool, their jeans rolled up and their toes dangling in the cool water, with a bottle of beer vodka wine or a bag of Xandra with a X’s vitamins, crushed up on a plate, quickly taken with the casing of a pen, because ‘it’s better that way’, and maybe, just maybe, that’s the happiest he’s been for a long time.

But, that’s because they’re friends. Close friends, not to sound cheesy and cliche, but best friends.

… except when Theo wakes, screaming, in the early hours of the morning, when the sky outside is still as dark as Hobie’s shop, Boris is the one beside him, sleeping in the bed that’s just slightly too small for two people, to wrap one of his gangly arms around him and whisper nonsense until he drifts back off to sleep, safe and warm.

But, that’s because of their friendship, and if hanging around with Tom Cable had proven anything, it’s that friends are there for each other, and Boris (unlike Tom Cable) was just that.

Because they were just friends. That’s all.

Until he was standing out in the darkness, a duffel bag slung around his neck, Popchik’s head peeking through the zipper and the small, waterproof, yellow sailing bag that contained the precious, precious painting, with the taxi waiting behind him as he begged Boris to come with him —  _ because he just couldn’t be by himself again, but he can’t stay here either, because she’ll send him away to a home or a foster family, and he just needs to get away, please, please, come with me  _ — and then he promised to come, just a few days, he said.

He promised, and then leant in, his hands on his face, and kissed him. 

He didn’t have anything to say, but maybe he didn’t need to say anything, didn’t need words (the three I, L, Y, words).

Then he was off, down the street, and Theo blinked after him, before finally moving towards the taxi door and setting inside, his mind whirring.

It wasn’t until his was finally on the bus that he had time to think about it, after the drugged haze had worn off and his mind had cleared. 

The kiss wasn’t  _ that  _ bad, all things considered.

So, maybe they weren’t just friends and maybe Theo wasn’t in love with Pippa.

And maybe that’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: write a chapter for one of your other fics
> 
> Also me, who just read ‘The Goldfinch’ and watched the movie in the span of a week: what if—


End file.
